About the relationship between husband and wife


Recommendations for the husband

A husband should treat his wife well, be patient with her shortcomings, be condescending to her frivolity, be meek and gentle to her follies. You should strive to lift her spirits and joke with her, with a good intention, but so as not to drop your dignity. Be jealous of her, do not turn a blind eye to her actions that can lead to bad consequences and not suspect her of anything bad without reason. Money should be spent on her evenly, so as not to be stingy and at the same time not to waste excessively.

You should teach her what she needs from religious knowledge, and remind her of the punishment from Allah, if she is too lazy to carry out duties. If there are several wives, then one should be fair with all - fairly distribute the compulsory expenses for them, and also fairly divide the nights between them. If the wife is obstinate and quarrelsome, then she needs to be brought up. If she does not obey her husband, then he lies with his back to her or sleeps on another bed. Treats her as if she is not at home. If there is a disagreement between the spouses or there is a quarrel, then it is necessary to invite two wise relatives, one from his side and one from her, to settle the disputed issue according to the Shari'ad. It is advisable that sexual intercourse is not directed towards Ka'ba.

It is recommended to be affectionate with her in bed, caress her, play with her, kiss, say pleasant words to her and so that she does not boring.

And before that, start with the name of Allah:

 

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

This means: «I begin with the Name of Allah,» and say:

بِسْمِ اللهِ، اَللّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنا الشَّيْطانَ وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطانَ ما رَزَقْتَنا

This means: «O Allah, protect us from the shaitan and take the shaitan away from what you give us.»

And it is better, if there was no reason, to come into close proximity with her on the night of Al-Jumu'i. Contact in the anus is prohibited. During intercourse, the husband should not, without the consent of his wife, remove his genitals from her genitals until she gets pleasure (until she reaches orgasm), although this is not prohibited (it is recommended to bring the wife to orgasm). You should be affectionate and gentle with your wife during pregnancy. Try to do so that she is not bored. The husband should not be dissatisfied if a girl is born.

If a wife does mean deeds towards her husband, harms his relatives and he or does not obey him, or if the husband's father hates her, then the husband can divorce her. If mean actions, harm, treason come from the husband, then the wife has the opportunity to redeem herself. And let him be fair to her and demand no more than he gave her. The husband does not divorce his wife when she is menstruating, as well as during the clean period in which he has intercourse with her. You have to be polite to your wife even after a divorce. After the divorce, the husband gives his ex-wife a gift to please her, does not quarrel with her and does not reveal her secrets.


Recommendations for the wife

The wife must be obedient to her husband in marital relations (sexual intercourse and the like, except what is prohibited by religion). The wife should not give anything from his house without permission from him. The wife cannot keep the Post-Sunnah and leave the house without the permission of her husband. It is advisable for her to treat him politely, to do what pleases him and from which he gets pleasure. You should use perfume and paint for him. Do not talk to your husband in a raised voice or shout at him.

A wise wife tries not to contradict her husband, especially when he is annoyed. A wife does not ask her husband for what he cannot do; she needs to be content with what is given from God and not complain. The wife does not ask her husband for anything, knowing that it is difficult to accomplish or cannot be done at all. You should not ask him for anything while he caresses her. The wife should not be chatty. You shouldn't walk around the neighbors a lot. If she comes out wearing makeup to seduce other men, then it is a sin.

Abu Ishak Ash-Shiraziy said:

واَهَهْجَوَفِشْكَتْنَأِة َّرُالحِةَأْرَمْلِلُوزَُيجَدْنِعاَهِهْجَوِفْشَكِلُاجَتَْتحاَ َّ

لأاَهْيـ َّفَكِاءَطْعِالإَوِذْخَالأَدْنِعاَهْيـ َّفَكِفْشَكَوِاءَرّالشَوِعْيَالبـ

This means: «A free (not a slave) woman is allowed to open her face and hands because she needs it when buying and selling goods, as well as when giving and receiving something.»

The wife should be God-fearing. She should respect the rights of her husband in the first place, love and pity her children, not quarrel with them and with her husband, not be arrogant because she is beautiful, not reproach her husband with money (if she was rich). The wife should not reveal her husband's secrets. After the death of her husband, she must wear mourning for 4 lunar months and 10 days, at this time she does not put on makeup, does not use perfume and does not leave his house unnecessarily.

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