Wise wife

The qualities of a wise wife include patience, restraint, loyalty, obedience to the husband, the ability to understand and respect the husband and children, and a kind attitude towards parents. She knows her responsibilities to those close to her and makes sure that she does everything exactly as Shari'at requires.

A wise wife does not expect her husband beyond what he is obliged to do. On the contrary, she herself seeks to do more than she is obliged to, because she understands that such behavior is for her own good - thereby she earns a reward for eternal life. She understands the purpose of family relations and sees her marriage as an opportunity to receive even more rewards - pleasing her husband, raising children, and she does this solely for the sake of Allah, and not so that loved ones appreciate her efforts and give her love and recognition in return.

A wise wife sees her husband and children as individuals and recognizes their right to make decisions for themselves, treating them with respect and understanding. She trusts her loved ones and does not seek to keep everything under control.

A wise wife does not seek to dissolve in her husband and does not expect him to do the same. She views family relations as cooperation based on the laws of the Shari'at, and treats this agreement with full responsibility. A wise wife tries to maintain a good relationship with her life partner. This should be done from the very first days of marriage. You must always remember that there is a very fine line in the relationship between a man and a woman. As some say, «from love to hate ...» Therefore, from the very beginning it is important to be careful with the feelings of the spouse and act wisely.After all, some people, having married, begin to behave unceremoniously and do not notice how they hurt each other's feelings, and then they are surprised that quarrels and disagreements arise. And the reason is that they were carried away by their feelings and did not pay due attention to seemingly small issues, but these little things have an unpleasant tendency to accumulate, causing irritation, misunderstanding, and lead to the destruction of good relationships.

A wise wife is flexible. She understands that life does not stand still and family relationships are also constantly developing and changing. This is fine. It is important to react to changes in time. She understands that the concept of «ideal wife» is different for every man, so a wise woman does not strive to correspond to public opinion or articles from glossy magazines in this matter, but tries to understand what her husband likes and to be «ideal» for him. A wise wife loves and trusts her husband, recognizing his masculinity and leadership in the family. In our time, this topic is especially relevant. The trouble with many modern girls is that they have forgotten how to obey and obey their husband.

You can argue for a long time where this trend came from, but we see the result: now many girls are trying on the image of a daring and independent woman , thinking that this attracts men, and modest and obedient women are called «sheep» with disdain. But in fact, a wise woman recognizes a man's right to leadership, including the right to make decisions, and does not demand that everything be just the way she wants.

The strength of a wise woman is in her ability obey a man.To check how obedient you are, answer the questions: when was the last time you looked at your husband from the bottom up, or lowered your eyes, or fell silent from the understanding that you did something wrong and he will be angry? Are you afraid of his anger? Or do you rush at him with the words: «How dare you treat me like that?» Do you enjoy making him happy? When your husband leads the family, do you just relax, obey and accept everything as he suggests, or are you already mentally preparing an indignant speech? Answer yourself honestly to these questions.

Softness adorns a woman. And, of course, a wise wife understands this and gives her husband warmth and affection. If a husband comes home tired and irritated, then a wise wife does not burden him from the doorway, but, on the contrary, relaxes him, warming him with care and love. She knows that hugs and gentle touches are more eloquent than words.

A wise wife does not say that she has already reached heights and can now relax. She never stops learning new things and striving for excellence. Being a wise wife is a skill, and skill is honed as a result of hard work on yourself.

The best example of relationships in a Muslim family is the pious family of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. He made us know how men should behave towards their wives, and by his own example he showed what it means to be a good husband. And his wives strove in everything to correspond to the high status of the Prophet's wife, helped and supported the Messenger of Allah in His mission, for which they were called «mothers of believers.»

About Pious Khadija

The relationship of the Messenger of Allah and His wife Khadija show us an example of a decent marriage. How many women in our time are able to love so much, so selflessly help their husbands, fully support them and take care of them ?! How often wives begin to reproach their husbands even in the slightest difficulty! And the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, showed men an example of an exemplary husband who did not humiliate his wife because she was not young, and before him she already had other husbands. In spite of everything, he loved her, protected her, set her as an example to other women and was gentle and kind with her. We need to remember this wonderful example of family relationships in order not to make mistakes and be kinder and better.

Khadija was a devoted and well-behaved wife of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Their marriage lasted 25 years. The Prophet treated her with warmth both during her lifetime and after her death. While Khadija was alive, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, had no other wives besides her.

Khadija was the first in the Prophet's community to accept Islam and support His call. Isma'il ibn Iyas ibn ‘Afif transmitted the following story from his father‘ Afif al-Kindiy ’from his father:“ I was engaged in trade and during the pilgrimage I went to the area of Mina.There I met with Al-Abbas ibn Abdul-Muttalib and made a deal with him. When I was talking to him, a man came and began to pray before Ka'ba, a woman and a young man were with Him. I asked Al-Abbas: "What kind of religion do they have?" He replied: «This is Muhammad ibn‘ Abdullah, who says that Allah sent Him as a Prophet, and His religion will be spread throughout Persia and Byzantium. This woman is His wife Khadija bint Huaylid, who followed Him. And this young man is the son of His uncle 'Ali ibn Abu Talib, who also followed Him.» ‘Afif said, «If I had converted to Islam when I saw them, I would have been the second man to convert to Islam [in the community of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him].» Later ‘Afif became a Muslim. This hadith has the degree of Sahih.

The Hafiz scholars confirmed that in the community of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, Khadija was the first woman to convert to Islam. In particular, Muhammad ibn Ishaq narrated that Khadija was the first to accept Islam and believed the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him: «Indeed, the Angel Jibril appeared to the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when He was on the outskirts of the valley, he hit the ground with his heel, and from there he hammered a source ... Then he made ablution, and the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, repeated after him. After that, Jibril performed the Namaz of two rak'ats, while doing four sajdah. After the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, returned home, His eyes were full of joy, His soul rejoiced because He received from Allah what made Him happy. He took Khadija's hand and led her to the source.The Prophet bathed there, just as Jibril did, and then performed two rak'at Namaz, making four sajdah. After that, Khadija also performed ablution and, together with the Prophet (peace be upon Him), performed Namaz. Since that time, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and His wife Khadija began to constantly perform Namaz.»This happened even before the five daily Namaz became obligatory. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, received the command to perform five Namaz a day on the night of Isra wal-Mi'raj. Khadija did not live up to that time - she died five years before this great event.

Khadija was a wise and patient woman. She donated her wealth for the spread of Islam, helping the Messenger of Allah. At a time when some other people called the Prophet Muhammad a liar and laughed at Him, she supported Him and stood up for His protection. She endured all the difficulties, ridicule and hostility of society and steadfastly preserved her dignity and honor of her husband.

Khadija is the mother of all the children of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, except for one son - Ibrahim, whom Mary gave birth to. The firstborn of Khadija and the Messenger of Allah was Al-Qasim, therefore the Prophet was named after the eldest son Abul-Qasim, that is, «the father of Al-Qasim.» Their other son is ‘Abdullah, who was also called At-Tabir and At-Tayyib (it is also believed by scholars that At-Tabir and At-Tayyib are two different sons). They also had four daughters: Zainab, Rukaya, Umm Kulthum and Fatyma, may Allah have mercy on them. All the children of the Messenger of Allah, except Fatima, died during the life of the Prophet Muhammad, may peace be upon him.

Khadija had many trials. Before the arrival of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, paganism was spread among the Arabs. It was a time of terrible disbelief, ignorance and cruelty. For example, the Arabs buried newborn girls alive, since they considered the birth of a daughter a shame. And at this time in such a society, the Prophet Muhammad and His wife Khadija raised their daughters. Khadija also withstood one of the most powerful trials for a woman and a mother - the death of her children. For her patience, love for the Prophet and fear of God, she received a high degree of piety.

'Abdullah ibn Ja'far narrated the words of Imam' Ali ibn Abu Talib, meaning: “I heard from the Prophet Muhammad, peace to him, these words: «The best of all women is Maryam bint 'Imran, and the best woman in my community is Khadija bint Huaylid.» This Hadith has the degree of Sahih.


Imam Al-Bayhakyi transmitted in a chain from Imam Abu Hureira, who said meaning: «Once the Angel Jibril appeared to the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon Him, and said: «Oh, Messenger of Allah! Khadija came to you and brought food. When she comes in, give her salam and please her with the fact that Allah has given her a home in Paradise.» This hadith also has the degree of Saheeh. Thus, for her excellent qualities, Khadija received the news during her lifetime that she would be in Paradise.

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