Merriage


 

 For most people, getting married is a crucial step and one of the most important events in life. At the same time, it is important what prompts a man or woman to take this step. Their further family life largely depends on the goal pursued by the future spouses, entering into marriage. What are the purposes of marriage approved by the Creator? How to choose the right spouse?

The answer to these and other questions is in our Religion. A believer, starting to carry out any deed approved by the Creator, must have a sincere intention in his heart, that is, to do it only for the sake of the Almighty. In this case, his deeds will be successful, and he can hope for a reward for this good deed. Therefore, it is necessary to marry sincerely for the sake of Allah in order to become more God-fearing, avoid sins, and raise pious children. All these goals contribute to the formation of a strong family, bring happiness to spouses and children who grew up in such a family. It is these families that are the foundation of a healthy society..

However, not all purposes of marriage are approved [1] by the Creator. For example, if people (be they men or women) marry only for the sake of intimate relationships. They then divorce and remarry someone else for the same purpose.

 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, said about this:

This means: "Truly, Allah does not approve when people marry only for the sake of intimate relationships and for pleasure."
 Some Prophets had several wives, but They did not marry for pleasure, but for the sake of spreading the true Religion and strengthening society.



As, for example, the Prophet Suleiman, peace be upon Him, Allah granted vast territory and great power. He had many wives. Despite all this, He lived very modestly. His food was barley bread with sour milk, while 100,000 rams and 30,000 cows were slaughtered daily to feed the people. This once again confirms that the Prophet Suleiman, peace be upon Him, lived for the spread of Islam, and not for the pleasures of life.

About the choice of a future spouse Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon Him, gave the following advice: 
This means: "A woman is chosen as a wife according to four qualities - wealth, beauty, position in society, fear of God [2] It is better to choose according to the last quality." Narrated by the Hadith of the Imams Al-Bukhariy, Muslim, Abu Dawud, An-Nasa'iy and Ibn Majah.

It is very important to correctly perform the act of marriage (nikah). Because of mistakes in marriage, many couples nowadays live together and commit adultery, thinking that they are married. We remind you that it is forbidden to have a marital relationship between a man and a woman without getting married, and the children born of this relationship are illegitimate.

Unfortunately, in our time, some ignorant people acting as imams, incorrectly enter into the act of marriage (i.e.not one of the four schools of Islam, including Hanafiy or Shafi'iy). Under the guise of concluding a nikah, they simply ask the parties' consent (“Do you agree to marry?”, “Do you agree to marry her?”), As in matchmaking [3]. Therefore, correct knowledge allows a person to avoid the forbidden.

For the conclusion of the marriage, the presence of the guardian of the bride, two reliable witnesses and the future spouse or his representative, acting on behalf of, is required. And also there should be no obstacles to marriage [4]. During the act of marriage, certain words must be spoken. For example, a father says: "I gave you my daughter such and such [5]", and the groom replies: "I took her as a wife." A marriage is considered valid even if the words were spoken in jest or in anger. The act of marriage can be carried out in any language, but it is imperative that the participants in the nikah understand the meaning of the words spoken at its conclusion. In Islam, there is a general rule: “A Muslim muqallaf has no right to do anything without knowing what Allah has forbidden and what Allah has allowed while doing so.”

One should learn from a God-fearing, honest scientist, worried about the religious knowledge of his students. Imam mujtahid 'Ato' ibn Abu Rabah said: "You must know how to pray, how to fast, how to buy and sell, how to marry and divorce." Therefore, future spouses, before getting married, must acquire the appropriate knowledge: the duties and rights of husband and wife, what is prohibited and what is permitted in marriage, and what ends the marriage. This duty applies to both the man and the woman.

 


[1] Approved by the Almighty is what there is a reward for. Not approved by Allah (makruh, undesirable) - although it is not a sin, if you do not do this for God's sake, there will be a reward.
[2] That is, one that has obligatory religious knowledge and fulfills its duties

[3] They ask about consent to marry and marry during matchmaking
[4] For example, so that a woman is not married to another or is not in the 'iddah period. A Muslim can marry a Muslim, Christian or Jewish woman. A Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim
[5] If he has several daughters

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