The upbringing of a child begins from the moment of his birth, because he is influenced by everything that happens around him, even if the child cannot perceive what is happening consciously. It is necessary to pay special attention to the education of high moral qualities in children.

The responsibility for raising a child lies primarily with his parents (or caregivers). Therefore, they themselves must first of all strive to be a worthy example, and they must also make sure that the environment in which the child grows up is conducive to his moral qualities in accordance with Islam.

When raising a godly boy, on the eve of

أكرموا أولادكم وأحسنوا ءادابهم يُغفر لكم

This means: «Honor your children and bring them up well, and you will be forgiven»

And he said:

لأن يؤدي أحدكم ولده خير له من ان يتصدق بنصف صاع كل يوم

This means: «If one of you brings up your child as it should be (in accordance with the Shari'at), then he will be more blessing than if he gives alms in the amount of half a sa 'every day»

Theologians of Islam divided upbringing into three stages, depending on the age:

1. first seven years (1-7);
2. second seven years (7-14);
3. third seven years (14-21).

Islam pointed out the need at the first stage, the first 7 years, to take care of the child, support him and pay special attention to his freedom (give him freedom) under supervision. At the second stage, that is, for the next 7 years, it is necessary to educate him and teach him the very first necessary issues in his future life and leave him under supervision, follow his actions, control his sense of responsibility for his actions. At the third stage, that is, for the next 7 years, giving him a feeling of independence, being a friend to him and accompanying him giving him useful instructions.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said meaning: «A child is like a master for seven years, then like a subordinate for seven years, and then like a helper».

Therefore, for the first seven years, the child is like a master, and he is looked after (in accordance with the Shari'at), after that, at the second stage, he should be treated as a subordinate, and in the third stage, he should be treated as a helper. ...

Parents should train their children to patiently face difficulties that may arise along the path of life. Teach your child not to brag about the wealth of his parents when talking to friends. Make it clear to the child that his dignity is when he gives, not asks. Do not instill in your child a love of luxury and wealth. Teach your child not to turn their backs on people, not interrupt others, talk a little, and not have conversations that are useless. Teach your child to be attentive with the interlocutor when talking, if he is older, and also to give way to an elder or a guest. Do not allow him to use foul language, and also do not let him communicate with people who are engaged in such things, as the child can take an example from them. First of all, it should be remembered that the basis of upbringing is to protect the child from bad people.

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said:

الْمَرْءُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ

This means: «A person takes an example from his friends, so let everyone look with whom he communicates»

The upbringing of a child is also influenced by his environment, and, above all, the children with whom he is friends. They can have a negative impact on him. Therefore, it is necessary to monitor who the children communicate with, and strive to protect them from the bad influence of the street, which can contribute to the fact that the child's character will deteriorate, and he will become impudent and rude in communication, will not heed the advice of parents and their fair criticism. Sheikh ‘Abdullah, said: «Visiting good people and being in their company sows love for a good deed in the heart and contributes to its fulfillment, and visiting bad people and being in their company sows in the heart love for a bad deed and contributes to its accomplishment».

• Make sure that the child does not run away from you, but comes to you.
• Pay attention to the friends around him.
• Make sure that the child does not feel lonely, be his friend. {{ 1}} When he comes to you for advice or with an important conversation for him, do not tell him: «Leave me alone», «Let's not now», «I'm tired, go to mom / dad!»
• Fill in his free time with useful knowledge.
• Make your child feel gentle and calm when talking to you.
• Make him feel confident in you and not seek another counselor.
• When the child is behaving well, reward him.

The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said, meaning: «Each of you is like your friend, comrade in behavior, so look at whom you associate with and be friends with».

Therefore, friends should try to choose children who can serve as good examples in relationships and behavior, and from whom the child has a lot to learn.

Help your child make the right choices about choosing a friend. Give him tips to help him do it:

• Friends should have five virtues: intelligence, high morality, piety, truthfulness, indifference to the pleasures in this life.
• Do not be friends with foolish people, as they can harm you, thinking at the same time that they are helping. Remember that a clever enemy is sometimes less dangerous than a stupid friend.
• Do not be friends with those who have low morals. Such people cannot restrain themselves either in anger or in their pleasures.
• Do not be friends with those who seek to commit sins, since you cannot completely trust someone who is not afraid of Allah Almighty, because he changes depending on the circumstances.
• Do not be friends with those who hold fast to the worldly life, as his friendship is a deadly poison. He will teach you to be dissatisfied with the wealth you have.
• Do not be friends with a deceiver, as his friendship is like a mirage that moves the near from you and brings the distant closer.

Teach children to have good, sincere relationships and love each other for the sake of Allah. The child needs to be taught to be polite when meeting, to teach to greet each other, because of a quarrel, not to interrupt the relationship for a long time. It is necessary to teach the child to give good advice to his peers in a soft and accessible way, especially if they do something bad.

Briefly recall that it is necessary to warn children about the dangers of lying, backbiting and gossip, teach them to be sincere, avoid hypocrisy, not mock, not gloat, not follow the shortcomings of others, not be sarcastic and not laugh at others, keep secrets, not envy, do not be vain, arrogant, cunning, insidious, do not oppress others, do not get angry, do not break promises, do not argue unnecessarily.

Children should be encouraged and developed positive character traits - truthfulness, restraint in speech, sincerity, fairness, modesty, flexibility in relationships.

It is also necessary to teach the child to be obedient to parents, teachers, educators. It is important that the child knows that death cuts off the pleasures of life and that this life is not eternal. Eternal only life in the Other World. It is necessary that the child knows that death can occur at any moment, and understand that a reasonable person takes in reserve from this life only what is useful to him in the Other World.

If a child grows up good, pious, then the words spoken by educators in childhood will find a response in his heart when he reaches adulthood, and will take a special place in him. And if you allow a child to play a lot, to misbehave, instill in him a love of pleasures, luxury in clothes, jewelry, teach him arrogance or instill a sense of national superiority, ignore his bad deeds, then he will grow up voracious, rude, arrogant, and his the heart will not accept good advice.

It is necessary to pay attention to the most important issues, since a child by nature is a pure creature who is ready to perceive both good and evil.

One of the awliya (one of the saints who followed the path of piety, knew his duties and knew how to defend himself from the forbidden) - Sahl ibn 'Abdullah At-Tusturiy, said that when he was three years old, he got up at night and watched his uncle - brother mother - Muhammad ibn Siuar when he performed Namaz. One day after Namaz, his uncle approached him and said:

- Don't you read Zikr and remember Allah, Who created you?

- How is it?

- Repeat before going to bed with your heart three times without the participation of the tongue:

الله معي

«Allahu mayi» (that is, «Allah knows everything that I do»), and repeat three more times:

الله ناظر إلي

«Allahu nazyron ilaya» (that is, «Allah sees me»)

 

The child repeated these words at night, then reported this to his uncle. He was told to repeat this Dhikr seven times. After a while, the child said that he was observing this. His uncle demanded that he repeat this dhikr eleven times. The child chanted Dhikr and felt a special joy in his heart from this. After a year had passed, his uncle told him: «Remember and preserve in your heart until death what I taught you. It will benefit you in this life and in the Other World».

For years Sahl repeated this Dhikr and received special joy from it. His uncle said to him: «O Sahl, whoever thinks and remembers that Allah sees him and knows about him, will he begin to sin? Be careful and protect yourself from sins».

Then his uncle sent him to the teachers in the madrasah to study the Kur'an, and at about six or seven years old he learned the Kur'an by heart. Sahl often observed Fasting. His food was rye bread without salt and broth. Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said about Sahl ibn ‘Abdullah that he never saw Sahl even use salt. He traveled for a long time, then returned home. He began to use all nights for prayers. What matters is how his childhood upbringing influenced him and how he eventually grew up as a man. It is known that he had a pagan neighbor. This neighbor's toilet was broken, and sewage began to enter Sahl's house. Sahl, showing patience, cleaned this dirt every night and did not quarrel with his neighbor over this nuisance. And so it went on for a long time. But one day Sahl fell seriously ill and, sensing the approach of death, called his pagan neighbor to him.

He told his neighbor that he endured all these years, but worries that after his death the heirs will not tolerate this and there may be some problems because of this. Hearing this, a pagan neighbor was very surprised at the patience of Sahl At-Tusturiy and said: «And do you help me, despite the fact that for a long time you endured torment because of me, and besides that, seeing that I was not a Muslim? I will accept Islam!» and immediately said: «Ashhadu alla ilaha illallah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadar-rasulullah» (There is no Creator except Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah)! Thanks to the great patience of Sahl At-Tusturiy, his pagan neighbor became a believer! Who among us could do the same noble and patiently, even if instead of impurities clean water would flow into our house?! Sahl was highly respected and his deeds were approved by Allah Almighty. His greatness and respect is a gift to him from Allah.

It is necessary to cultivate godliness from an early age. This happens when the child is being brought up according to the Shari'at. Correct transfer of knowledge is of great importance. We must strive to bring up our children so that it is approved by Allah Almighty. You should not agree with the opinion of ignorant people who say that the child is still young and does not understand what his learn. Answer such people with the words of Imam Al-Ghazali from the book «Revitalization of Religious Sciences».

After the scientist listed the questions concerning beliefs, he wrote, meaning: «The child needs to be let know what is listed, and so that he learns it by heart. The meaning of the words will be revealed to him gradually in the process of his development». The child must be taught to read the Qur'an, the sayings of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and pious people, to tell the child about the life and deeds of the God-fearing, so that his heart filled with love for them, and so that in his life the child strives to imitate them. Share examples for the children from the childhood stories of the prophets, peace be upon them, and godly people that have come down to us. An instructive example for us in the stories of the prophets! Tell them about the childhood of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon Him, who grew up an orphan and has always been known for his truthfulness, so that they will follow the example of the best created. Tell them about the childhood story and trials of the Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him), this will serve as an example of great patience for them. Tell them about the exploits of the Companions, this will push them to strive to be brave and brave.

The childhood story of Imam Al-Shafi'iy will teach them asceticism and appreciate more what they have. Inspire children by studying with them the biographies of great Islamic scholars and saints (awliya) who bring the light of knowledge taught by the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. All these godly and successful people were highly productive. They worked longer and made better use of their time. They were respected and appreciated by those around them, their knowledge was needed. Their words reached the hearts of millions of students and listeners. Allah gave them special knowledge and talents. Inspire children with their work, through the Dowat and the road to success and development. It is important for the children to draw strength and desire for themselves to receive more religious knowledge.

There is no better motivation than the one that comes from the depths of the soul and heart. Let this be a source of inspiration for their spiritual development.

And remember the words of the Prophet, peace be upon Him, meaning: «At the death of a person, all his deeds cease, except for three:

• Sadaka-jariya (charity given by a person during his lifetime, for which he continues to receive a reward even after his death. For example, participation in the construction of a mosque, in the publication of religious literature, etc.)
• Knowledge that is beneficial (for example, taught someone to perform Namaz, taught to read the Qur'an. There are rewards for this even after his death).
• He left a pious son who will recite Du'a to him (since he was properly brought up according to Shari'at), and will also give alms to people so that the reward is in favor of the dead».

It follows that parents, if they are concerned about the future life of their children, should engage in their physical, moral and spiritual education.